Avalanche
Cool!
Great!
Awesome!
Horrible!
Don't help them
Stand up!
Morons! You're useless!
That's all for today
Dismiss!
Yes!
Awesome!
That move just now...
Get away!
I told you
No bubble gum
You're awesome!
Really?
Yes, especially your ultimate move
the Avalanche
You're a real man
And your hair swaying back and forth
How impressive!
Are you free tonight?
Watch TV at my place
It's big and comfy
You're crazy!
Grizzly tried to pick you up
Why didn't you say yes?
Grizzly, watch TV at my place
It's big and comfy
You look exactly like him
That's true...
What are you looking for in a man?
Yes!
Handsome, gentle and easygoing
A real... hero
I don't know about heroes
But definitely pretty
You're gorgeous and smart
The lonely 36, 24, 36
Let me be a part of your life
Call 4567
Remember
Never call 116
He's famous for touch-and-run
But last time
He left as soon as he saw me
He didn't touch
What's wrong with that?
At least you didn't catch anything
Go change
I think you're going crazy!
I'm telling you
There are no more heroes
Did you call the police?
Yes, officer
You've been robbed?
Yes, cleaned me out
What's your name?
He Jin Yin
Show me your ID card
Look at me, officer
Where can I possibly hide it?
Doesn't take a genius to rob you
What?
Do you recognize the robber?
What does he look like? What?
Let me try
Do you remember
what the guy looked like?
So what if I do? He had my consent
What do you mean?
This is what happened
I was walking by
A man in rags came towards me
He asked me for $20 to buy food
I felt sorry for him and gave him $20
Then he told me
His wife and son have not eaten
and have no clothes
He took off my clothes
snatched my wallet and asked if I mind
I told him I do mind
but I'll let it slide
I offered to take off my underwear
Because I should help him all the way
I was worried I'll get arrested
for indecent exposure
So I called the police
and put it on record
I see
P.C.26324, we have a nudist on hand
Suspected of being retarded
Please send backup...
You got this all wrong
Let me repeat the story
Take him away!
Let's go, retarded nudist
Officer, I'm really...
Cut the crap
I pitied him, why would I lie?
People like you
make the world more pitiful
Get up and eat!
Try this on
This is for you, son
Can't believe there's such a kind person
I'm back!
So what?
Have some water
Thanks
It's spicy!
Not enough? I'll add more
Next time you have an order for North Point...
send someone else
I had to climb up the hill
I almost didn't make it
It's for your own good
Gives you proper training
Take this to Wan Hua
What did you say?
I can't take this anymore, Boss
You're the Boss' pet
I'm so jealous
Stop teasing me
Can you tell?
Boss
There's a fly in my soup
Let me see
Johnny...
Don't give me that!
I had some of it
and the fly is still swimming around
like it was showing off
and mocking me
Say no more!
I'm fastidious about hygiene
Not just you
we hate flies too. Kill it
Hurry!
What are you doing?
Crush it... hurry
Hygiene is our top priority
I'll kill it for you
I just want another bowl of soup
What's the fuss?
Just give me another bowl
It's that simple
Stop!
The fly is here...
Help!
Forget it!
It's over! Get back to your food
It's alright...
Alright
Come here!
If we don't make a scene...
We won't get paid
We must do our best, right?
Right...
Good job!
Isn't it too much?
You don't have to break a bottle to kill a fly
I'm just trying to help
That bottle costs 50 cents, you moron!
Where's the bottle?
Behind you
Chief, what do you think?
Excellent! You're the only woman
who can throw me over
It's my birthday today
Come join my party
They're all staring at us
Don't do this!
I won't let go unless you say yes
Let go of me, you maniac!
Let go!
Thanks
Don't mention it
Bye!
I'm busy tonight
What about tomorrow?
I have 2 tickets for Jacky Cheung's concert
Let's go together
Having my period tomorrow. I can't go out
What a coincidence!
So am I!
Delivery!
Morning...
Give me a sandwich
Only if you pay
You're catching on!
You don't have a girlfriend, take her! Don't be shy!
Stop teasing me!
He's not so bad
If you're not coming to the party
At least give me a birthday kiss
Li, I'm so nice to you
You know how many girls approach me
and I still neglect them
Why don't you grab your chance?
I don't know either
I'll kiss anyone but not you
What? Anyone?
Don't talk nonsense
Don't lie to yourself, Li
I know you love me
I'm telling you, you can't kiss anyone
Morning...
but me
Don't give me this bullshit
Get over here now!
Don't be ridiculous!
What if I fall for you?
Do you want to see Jacky Cheung's concert?
Let's go together
I'm busy
Busy my foot! Let's go
Stop right there! You hear me?
Let go of me! Come back!
The Manager is looking for you
I like Jacky Cheung too
If you really want to go
I'll be happy to go with you
But make it Wednesday
That's the only day I'm off
in the whole month
What's the kid doing with Li?
If you must go today
Mind if I wear a hat?
Or give me some time
to fix my hair
My hairstyle
doesn't go with your personality. May I?
Sorry!
I kissed you without asking
I was only kidding
Kidding?
Yes!
I'm so relieved!
It's alright!
It happens to me all the time
Good!
Bye!
Run along!
I'll wait till my legs quit trembling
and my heart slows down before I can go
I'm sorry
Can I help you?
No...
I'm fine
I'll sit down for a while
What's your name?
He Jin Yin. I'm the delivery boy
Forgot my name card
My name is Li
Nice to meet you
Bye!
I have to go! Bye
Li!
About Jacky Cheung's concert
Is that a joke too?
I want to go, but the tickets are hard to get
Not really, if you try hard enough
You'll get what you want!
Bye!
"Ticket office opens at 9:00 A.M."
Get in line...
Jacky Cheung... we love you
Queue up!
Jacky Cheung... we love you
I love Leon Lai...
Fix him...
Mister
Can I take your place for $1,000?
Sorry, this is important to me
I promised my girlfriend
I'll get concert tickets
How about $2,000?
It's not the money
You should do it yourself
Like I sacrificed my only day off in a month
and camped out here overnight
Why are you doing this?
If your girlfriend finds out
your dirty tricks
She'll never forgive you
Hey!
I promised my boyfriend
I'll get tickets
Can I have your place?
Sorry! You can't
I'll buy you dinner
Just one dinner?
How many do you want?
At least 3 or 4
No way!
If I were you
Even if it takes 30 dinners
I'll do it without thinking
How can you do that? You're crazy!
If you won't make sacrifices for love
You'll never get the concert tickets
My grandson
wants me to get the tickets
But there's such a long queue
Can you give me your spot?
I really love my grandson
Even if you don't pay me
Or take me to dinner
For the fact that you love your grandson
You can take my spot
How kind of you!
You'll be rewarded
Get in line...
2 tickets please
That old lady bought all the tickets
Can't be! I only need 2 tickets
There were only 20. We're sold out now
Let go!
Granny!
Do me a favor
I just want 2 tickets
I gave them to my grandson
Where is he?
Outside... holding all the tickets
Tickets for Jacky Cheung concert
$500 each! Front stall $1,500
Hurry...
Don't jump queue!
I want 2
No problem
You're arrested for scalping
Sorry!
What are you still doing here?
I tried to get 2 tickets
It's so unfair
Of course you can't get them
They're all here
Jacky Cheung?
Here!
I love you, Jacky!
No thanks. I have a girlfriend
Li, Jacky Cheung
made me believe in miracles
Now I have the guts to ask you out
Enclosed please find 2 tickets
I hope we can go together
Tomorrow at 3
I'll wait at the bus stop outside
Here's the delivery boy
Li
Mr. He
Hello!
What a coincidence!
Yes!
I brought you an egg sandwich
Sorry, I don't eat eggs
Let's go! Hurry...
Bye!
Give it to your mother
Let me eat it!
We're late, let's go
Bye!
Help!
That bitch ate my sandwich!
What's wrong?
Are you alright?
My throat...
Is it serious?
I want to throw up
I'll pat you on the back
What is this?
What are you still doing here?
Li is waiting for you by the bus stop
You're so smart!
Really?
Trust me! You owe me dinner!
Anything you say!
No one can compare to you
I'll never forget your smile
You're the one I love
You kiss me with those tender lips
I can't help myself
I'm losing control
Are you alright?
I'm fine
Shit!
How are you, Mr. He
Hi...
This is for you
Thanks
There's no need
Let's shake hands
Sure!
You're strange! I've never met
anyone like you
Thanks...
Thanks for the tickets
No need
Come on, don't be shy!
No...
How's it going?
We're fine, thanks
Why are you thanking me?
Whatever
What are you afraid of...
You have body-odor or somethin'?
Bingo!
You kissed her yesterday
Are you getting into the sack with her today?
Cut the crap! He's just a friend
Mind your manners
I'm provoking you, so?
I dare you to hit me
Hit me... come on
Hit me hard!
That won't be necessary
You've been punished enough
What's this?
I guess it's shit
But I don't know whose it is!
How dare you!
You bastard! You had the nerve to dodge!
How can you do that?
What kind of a man are you?
Li, come watch TV
No
Madonna is singing
Come quick!
I don't want to watch
Are you alright?
I'm fine
Here comes Madonna. Come quick!
No!
She's wearing a tuxedo!
Don't be a nag, Mother!
Li
What is it?
What are you doing here?
I came to apologize
Don't be silly! There's no need to apologize
It's not your fault
How is your nose?
Fine
Really?
Really!
You're lying
I hit myself on the nose casually
It hurts so bad I'm in tears
Sorry, I'm really fine
Please don't worry
Don't lie to me
I insist that you go to the hospital for a check up
It can be serious
You may have internal bleeding
or nasosinusitis
or even cancer if you're out of luck
You may be dead!
Are you finished?
It's late, I want to go to bed
You better leave
Here! Take this back
Please don't do this to me, Li
Please give me another chance
I treasure what we have
It's important to me
You got it all wrong, Mr. He
I don't like cowards
I didn't even touch him
He's already on his knees begging
like a dog
Do you know who I hit?
Who?
Li
She flew 9 feet high
and spun 2 full circles
Isn't that wonderful?
You bragged about injuring someone
How can you do that?
What about when you had shit all over your face?
Why don't you mention that?
Shit all over your face?
What did you say?
I'm saying
You better apologize to Li
Are you alright, Li?
Don't move!
I tried calling you last night
Did you know?
You didn't pick up, I was so worried
I couldn't sleep at all
Stop!
How can you do that to him?
I didn't do anything
Go deliver your order
Did you hear me?
Asshole
Are you hurt?
I told you I don't like cowards
How is he?
He's an idiot
Don't mind him, let's practice!
We don't open until 9 o'clock
It's 8:45, 15 more minutes to go
What do you want?
I'm a coward
It's obvious. You should come last night
US$20
$20?
Yes
Apply a thin layer 30 minutes beforehand
Last time some kid
used the whole bottle and...
No, I don't need this
I want my money back
Your fingerprints are all over it
You can't return it
Then give me 2 beers
Alright!
Give me $8 more
I'll keep the change
Here's a pack of peanuts
Don't look or it'll cost you more
Go away!
Look at you
2 words are tattooed on your face
Heart broken
You really are?
So what? People do that all the time
The first time?
So it should be the hardest
You don't need a beer
Right now
You should change into something more cheerful
Listen to a good song
and eat a big breakfast
You'll feel much better
Let me help you
Trust me!
Come on!
This is the best deal for you
Nice clothes, a song and a big breakfast
I'm charging you 60 cents per second
What do you think?
I think I've been had
Really?
Does that take your mind off
the fact that you've been jilted?
Maybe
Get more involved!
Brace yourself and sing along
I guarantee you'll feel better
Sing!
Leave her...
Yeah... baby
Leave her...
Yeah... baby
Don't look at me, look over there
Please pass the ball back
It's raining...
Hurry...
Are you alright?
Don't be silly! I know kung fu
Kung fu?
Yes
I can teach you. 20% off
"Chinese Ancient Boxing"
In this sports center
The Chinese Ancient Boxing school has a long history
I'm the current Chief
What should I call you, old man?
Call me the Devilish Muscle Man
Anything but old man
Sure!
Why is the gym
behind your grocery store?
The grocery store is a side business
I'm a boxing coach by profession
Fame is not my game
I hate people who court publicity
Bruce Lee was my classmate
Do I brag about that?
Jackie Chan likes to have tea with me
I'd like to humor him too
That's him, see that?
Do I tell you about him?
What's the big deal?
What do you want to learn?
What can you teach me?
Iron Sand Palm
originated from Si Shui is powerful
capable of shattering anyone's internal organs
They'll be dead on arrival at the hospital
Takes 3 days to learn and $600
Armor Skill
came from Southern Shaolin, 70km north of Fujian
and 30 knots south of Shan Mei
It'll render you impenetrable to all weapons
including fire and water
Takes 5 days and $800
Flying guillotine
from the late Ming and early Qing dynasty
The official weapon for imperial assassins
capable of decapitating anyone from miles away
because it is lethal
I'm using this yo-yo instead
Takes 7 days and $1,000
Poison Dragon Drill
came from a comic
and started out as a fantasy
But I have modified it
and turned it into powerful footwork
It'll cost $1,500
Lightning Death Ray
It has killed numerous monsters
and all those dinosaurs
Took young people by storm in the 70s
I can tell you it's fake
There is no such thing
It only exists in the movies
I must tell you
You don't have to worry
Honesty and practicality are my motto
I'm the Devilish Muscle Man
I choose my students
based on potential
I don't teach just anyone who wants to learn
I better go
Don't!
We're getting along just fine
You don't have to worry
I think it's too expensive
Anything is negotiable
I'm not making much as it is
I'll teach you for free if you have potential
Really?
Really!
That's not a good idea
Your leg...
I don't want you to overexert yourself
Sorry for the intrusion
Iron Sand Palm emphasizes inner strength
It can kill without being noticed
It's amazing!
Fame is not my game
Please don't tell anyone
I'm a kung fu expert
I'm just a cripple
Yes!
Can you beat judo?
Judo?
You're kidding
Of course I can beat judo
Chinese kung fu has a long history
As they say, there are no cowards with kung fu
Can you teach me?
I make no promises
Tell me what do you want to learn
Everything
That's expensive
and exhausting
I don't mind
I want to be strong
Very good!
From the fire in your eyes
I know you have great potential
Cut the bullshit and pay up
Fine
Your fees, Master
Wait!
What?
This is my hard earned money
Don't worry. I understand
I can speed up your training
Wait!
What now?
You said you'll teach me for free if I have potential
Good question! Hang on!
The money is not for me
It'll be donated to fellow Chinese in the Mainland
So that they can all go to school
as well as learn kung fu
How meaningful!
Yes! Put it in!
Everything
You're now a student of Ancient Chinese Boxing
Congratulations!
Let's go
Yes
Li
Going to class?
Yes
I'm secretly practicing kung fu
Really?
I can also tell you
I'm getting good
Oh!
If you run into any trouble
Just let me know
It doesn't matter what time. I stay up late
Really? Try it!
Thanks
Here comes Yin
Bastard!
What are you doing?
You're supposed to wash the rice, not jab it
You've been at it for half an hour!
What has the rice done to you?
Did it kill your father?
You can kill it with a knife
But stop jabbing!
I'm practicing
Practicing?
Yes
Practice on me!
Are you alright, Boss?
I want you dead!
Noodles!
What's this?
Curry beef with braised noodles
I wanted fried noodles
I'll get you another one
Let me handle this
What's the meaning of this?
Sorry! I'll do it
Sorry...
The kitchen is swamped
Sorry
Here it is, sir!
I've lost my appetite
Help yourself!
You're making a mess
Doing that in front of the customer
You want me to close down?
Next time
Do it in the back
Not in front of the customer
I'm so busy practicing
I did that subconsciously
What's wrong with you?
You're dreaming
You're an idiot, who would teach you?
He's taking advantage of you
If you don't do it
I'm already eternally grateful
What? I took advantage of you?
You were an orphan
Alright, Boss...
I took you in
I fed you and put a roof over your head
How can you say that?
Stop it!
If you want to quit
You're welcome to leave... go!
No one is asking you to stay
Shut up!
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
Don't mind him! Get back to work!
Alright... it's over
Let's eat
Yin
Everyone needs an identity and self respect
As a student of Ancient Chinese Boxing
You should have a uniform
Here!
You're my life saver, Master!
You deserve it
Wearing it
People will show you due respect
Moreover
This is our Jiu Yin manual
Keep it!
Jiu Yin manual?
Why must I wear a mask?
That's proof of your skill
Sit down!
You're too nice to me!
Don't say that!
I've given you 2 treasures
You should help our suffering countrymen
After all, blood is thicker than water
Just $20?
You donated $500 for the last stance!
This is all I have!
Get this straight! It's not for me!
It's up to you how much you're giving
I'm just as happy if you donate nothing
If you have any jewelry at home
or...
Master, for my fellow countrymen
I've done all I could
I'm broke now
What about your salary?
I hated that job
I quit already
I have nothing
But since you're so nice to me
I'll stay with you from now on
Practicing and looking after you
What's wrong?
You're shuddering!
Nothing
In that case
Come with me
Now I'll teach you
the most formidable movement
But Master...
This manual is useless now
It'll depend on you
Trust me, I can do it
Roll down from here
All those steps?
What kind of movement is that?
Are you serious?
This is called the Invincible Fireball
You kill your enemy by rolling down with him
I'll be dead too
No! How can you be so stupid?
Hold him tight
Protect yourself with his body
Make use of gravity
and universal gravitation
Apply turbo speed
using your body weights
If even so you can't get rid of your opponent...
Come see me
I still don't understand
This is a difficult movement
and highly dangerous
I understand if you don't want to learn
That'll prove you don't have what it takes
so don't come to me again
Please don't say that!
I'll do my best
If you succeed
You'll be invincible
and you don't need me anymore
That's all
Go...
Master
What is it now?
You're dumping me?
Say anything you want
Master!
What do you want?
I want to give you this Swatch
I always carry it with me
How much is it worth?
It's not worth much
but it was my birthday present
from some relatives
Thanks...
Don't mention it! It has sentimental value
I won't let you down
Don't be such a nag!
He couldn't have!
How stupid!
It hurts!
I saw everything, Master
What?
How to practice the Invincible Fireball
You showed me, right?
Without a second thought
You tumbled down! That's cool!
I stood up there for the longest time
and didn't dare
You saw everything?
Yes! It was awesome!
This is tough
I better learn something else
Something less demanding
Whatever! I've done a demonstration
I should get paid
No problem!
Then hurry up!
I'm bleeding already
Come with me!
No! Just give it to me!
Asshole!
- Morning! - Morning!
This is for you
I was rude, I'm sorry
Forget it!
Why don't you come to my place
I want to talk to you
It's big and comfy
Don't do this!
Please give me a chance
Come back!
Chief, your glasses are broken!
What? You broke my Armani!
My Armani...
Don't yell
She's gone
Grab her!
Yes!
Come back!
What do you want?
Let go of me!
Do you know how long it took me
to save enough for this?
I need this to woo girls. You must pay for it
On my count to 3, let go!
I've been after you for so long
and you played hard-to-get
Now you leave me no choice
Stop!
Let her go!
Who is he?
Garfield. He's my favorite!
Grab her!
Who are you?
Let her go!
Quit the act, asshole!
Take off the mask!
I said let her go!
You're dead meat, talking to me like that!
She's mine
He's ready to strike
Must be a good show
Come on!
I can nail you
Hit him...
Yes!
Pathetic! Cut open his mask!
Yeah...
See?
Death to those who challenge me
Who's Grizzly fighting?
A masked man challenged Grizzly
Awesome!
I'm invincible
I told you...
no one beats me
Come on!
Avalanche!
Invincible Fireball
Incredible!
Hurry...
Beat him!
Master!
Are you alright, master?
Master is right
I'm better under the mask
I won!
Come down to the Police station
You're charged with disorderly conduct
You're suspected of being a triad member
We need that mask for evidence
Big news! A masked Garfield
rescued Li
Big news! A masked Garfield
rescued Li
Big news! The best combat fighter Grizzly
was beaten first time in 3 years
Masked Garfield defeated
Grizzly with Invincible Fireball
No more bets!
Guess who is the Masked Garfield
I told you I don't know
- That's not possible? - Can it be?
If you don't know him
Why would he come to your rescue?
That's right...
Don't lie to us
Tell us
I don't know what to say
My whole life
No one has ever
stood up for me like that
I wonder who he is
I know he saved me
without asking for anything in return
He gets up every time he's down
He's truly courageous
All I want is to meet him
and personally thank him
You don't know him?
Then we can't place our bets
Seeing you is like seeing him
I've been waiting for you
Wait! Let me guess
You have thick brows
penetrating eyes
a real hero
I'm so nervous
You're absolutely right! Kiss me
Stop!
Actually I saved you
How will you repay me?
It was me!
Here's my house key. Take it
I'll be waiting...
I don't take advantage of women
Let me hug you
Li!
No!
Damn!
I'll save you
You're despicable!
What are you doing here?
Don't jump queue!
No...
Do you know the rules?
Get in line
Go...
I'm the real guy
Get in line!
Taxi!
You're here, Master
I'm here for the fun
How could you?
They're all the same!
But I really saved the girl!
So what?
You couldn't have done it without me
Without you?
I used the Invincible Fireball
Cut the bullshit!
You were lucky
But you won't be so lucky next time
You'll kill yourself!
What? I lied
Do you want to know
tomorrow's headline?
What?
Car crash
Why did you lie to me?
Everyone can practice kung fu
and you'd believe that
Who else would fall for it?
Tell me!
Why are you telling me now?
Because you're asking me now
so I'm telling you now
You didn't ask me before
I can't possibly volunteer
You lied to me
Don't believe me
This may not be something to brag about
But it wasn't my fault
You were stupid
I want my money back!
Forget it!
You'll have no son
Don't get personal!
Why not?
Cripple! Swindler! Sex maniac!
Wimp! Sissy! Coward!
I beat Grizzly, I'm not a coward
You won't beat him without me
You lied to me. I did it myself
I gave you confidence
or else you wouldn't dare to challenge him
or go after Li
Leave her out of this
Why?
What's the big deal?
I dare you to take off
that stupid mask in front of her
When she sees you
I'll kill myself if she doesn't scream
Go to hell!
You'll be a cripple in your next life!
Moron
Cripple!
Idiot!
Cripple!
Look at this cripple...
How pathetic...
Look at this idiot...
I dare you to say that again!
Wimp!
Sissy!
Coward!
Damn!
Get lost, asshole
I dare you to fight me
Go to hell!
Li
I must tell you
I'm the Masked Garfield
You?
You have proof?
What do you want?
Even you want a piece of me!
It's true
I hate scum like you
Listen...
I'm not who you think I am
Stop!
Please don't...
Yin
What's wrong with you?
Why did you run from me?
It has nothing to do with me
I want to ask you
I'm busy
Do you know who is the Masked Garfield?
No
Really?
Really!
I should have guessed
He must be someone I know
Good guess
Do you know why he wears the mask?
Why?
Because he wants to remain anonymous
He doesn't want people to repay him
Right!
He is generous and giving
His greatness
is comparable to that of Jesus Christ
Tell me, how can I repay him?
Simple! Kiss him
Kiss him?
Don't be shy
We're in the 20th century
Put aside the moral issues
Trust me, you have no choice
Kissing him is the only way
Remember
You must pay him back for saving your life
Come on, baby!
Yin, let me introduce you to
the Chief of the Karate Club
He came all the way from Japan
He's an old schoolmate. I'm so happy to see him
It was him!
Don't bring that up! Your friend is waiting
Really?
I'll take a look
Are you from Elite center?
No
I don't want Li to hang around garbage
Stay away from her
You're saying I'm garbage?
Yes!
Are you done?
Vivian is waiting for us
See you later!
Li, you're wrong about...
Thanks for your advice
"Garbage Collecting Center"
This can't be happening
I told her to kiss me
But she kissed him instead
I sent her straight to the arms
of that bespectacled asshole
This is too much
With my willpower
I can take this
Am I in your way, buddy?
No, it's a place for garbage
Sit here as long as you want
Nothing you say can harm me
Because I have gone mad already
One, two, buckle my shoe
Again...
Buckle my shoe...
Stop!
Come back!
What do you want?
Forget the money, I don't even have a job
Take my life if you want
Shut up! I need to talk to you
You know I'm the Masked Garfield?
Yes!
I saved Li
But she got it wrong
She thought it was
some Karate asshole
Can you please
explain it to her?
Sure, I'll tell her next time I see her
Thanks, but no!
Not when you see her
Go tell her now!
I'll go tell her later
Wait!
I'll go with you now
Given your status
If you tell her you're Masked Garfield
That'll be such a waste!
Why don't you tell her
you're the U.S. President?
President? Maybe later
But now, I want to clarify this. Let's go...
Get a grip!
Look at you
Who would believe you! Go away!
I have nothing to live for!
Then you should be dead!
Yes! But before that
I need to teach that asshole a lesson
because he called me garbage
But you are garbage. Look...
Come... look at you
You blend in so well with garbage
Don't deny it
To prove I'm not, I'll beat him up
Sure, go ahead!
Do that for me too
and then teach me something else
I told you I lied to you
Why are you still coming?
I won because you lied to me
Might as well lie to me again
I told you it was pure luck
Believe it or not
Don't come to me again! Now get lost!
Will you lie to me?
No!
I'll slash your face!
I dare you!
I'm a cultured person
I won't swindle anyone again
Now get lost...
"Letter of Challenge"
Is the Karate chief in?
Fetch him for me
You haven't made a delivery for a long time
I have a cold
I need to rest
Hi Devil, I thought you quit already
Why are you here?
I miss you, Mary
Really?
Would you like to go out?
Take me to a movie
How about "The Terminator"?
You can take my mother
Sure! Does your father mind?
You're obscene
No, I'm romantic
We're not here to get a date
I came here looking murderous
You're embarrassing me
Where is the Karate chief?
In a meeting with Mr. Chen
Pass this to him. Let's go
Come here
In terms of personal combat
Elite Center is second to none in southeast Asia
Our impeccable reputation
is attributed to our department chiefs
Chief of Tae Kwon Do
His feet are as agile as his hands
attacking the opponent from unthinkable angles
Our Chief of Kendo
He's fast as lightning
powerful enough to split a rock
Our boxing chief
The impact of his right hook is 878 lbs.
Our Judo chief
Best fighter for 3 years in a roll
You're the one beaten by the masked man
Nice to meet you
The purpose of my trip
is to restructure Elite Center
Karate is the top martial art in the world
That's why I think only Karate
should remain at Elite Center
The others should be abolished
What do you mean by that?
What about us?
Good question! If you're interested
You're welcome to join the karate division
I'll do the screening
I only train the best
not garbage
Why are you looking at me? You think I'm garbage?
Don't get me wrong!
I'm saying you're all garbage
What a mess!
What are you thinking?
Let's burn the letter
I told you
They're all garbage
They should have been driven out!
Good! It's still here, burn it!
You cripple!
I have driven you out
How dare you show your face?
I see
You want money?
I'll give you money and get lost
I'm telling you
Don't treat me like a beggar
I'm no longer with the Center
I don't have to put up with you
I'm here today
as Chief of the Ancient Chinese Boxing school
to challenge this karate lunatic to a duel
Are you out of your mind?
1974, first time Kickboxing Champion
in southeast Asia
1980, defeated heavy champ Lei Long
For the next 3 years in a roll
defeated all Japanese Karate masters
became Kickboxing Champion in Japan
Ancient Chinese Boxing, hailed as the jinx of Karate
nicknamed Devilish Muscle Man
You're really...
I told you
That's me!
But too bad
In the Sino-Japanese Championship in 1988
You disappeared after my Master broke your leg
You abandoned all hopes and resorted to swindling
You're an aging cripple
How can you challenge anyone?
Challenge?
Not me, him!
The second generation... get up
He's my student He Jin Yin
This piece of shit?
Yes! Give me a month
He'll be invincible!
Only Karate is invincible
As long as I'm alive
Karate is always second to me
How about it?
What?
I accept on one condition
If I win
Ancient Chinese Boxing will totally vanish from earth
Alright! If you lose
I want Ancient Chinese Boxing
to take over Elite Center
You have a deal
One more thing
You took my salad dressing
Pay me back
I didn't know you were for real
I told you fame is not my game
You shouldn't make challenges on my behalf
You're killing me!
I should thank you
If you didn't put a knife to my neck
I would never have realized
this is the best thing I've done
If we win
I can re-establish the school
Even if you get killed
I'll take out an insurance policy
and be the beneficiary
Good for you, but what about me?
You can prove you're not garbage
That's what I am, I won't deny it
I have a plan
What plan?
So soon?
I better go
We'll do this some other time
Very well!
What about the girl?
Fine! I'll do it!
That's the spirit!
Look!
The ratings for "Happy Tonight" have reached record low
Do something!
How about this?
I read a story
from the Elite Center magazine
A delivery boy has challenged a karate chief
Happy Tonight is proud to present
Happy Boxing Championship
The contestants include, on my right, the Delivery Boy
Student of the Ancient Chinese Boxing school
My name is He Jin Yin
Delivery Boy is his nickname
On my left
is Karate champ for 3 years in a roll
Duan Shui Liu
They have signed a no-fault agreement
What brought about this duel?
I don't know
Let's ask them
Mr. He
Everyone says
it's suicidal for you
Can you tell us
the reason
behind this tragic decision?
It is...
Actually...
It's unplugged
Chief
Is this your first TV appearance?
Yes!
I'm allowing the live broadcast
because I want to promote Karate
Any event that promotes martial arts
I will give my full support
Rumor has it
you were the Masked Garfield
and saved a girl
Is that true?
I showed up in disguise
because I don't want people to know
If you're interested
I can tell you
I grew up in Japan
Kamen Rider was my idol
From then onwards
I have used different masks
to help the underdogs
and punish the evil doers
It never dawned on me
The person I saved that day
was the love of my life
He's talking about you
Li, I'm glad to see you again
I didn't expect my hero
to show up at the right time and save me
It was so dangerous
If you didn't show up
I don't know what would happen
I know it's been a while
But I still remember red is your favorite color
You like black
You like red bean pudding
You like wasabi
How romantic!
Flowers in bloom, we pledge our love
Nightingales sing, singing about our love
Love is in the air
We'll be together, our love will not die
I'd like to propose
Please say yes
You're crying
There goes your girl!
Let her go!
What's wrong with you? Epilepsy?
You're lying! You're a liar!
You're a hypocrite!
Don't believe him, Li
I saved you the other day
Step aside, Li
What?
You garbage!
I'm giving you a chance to fight me
Yet you repay me with slander
I'll show you no mercy in the ring
Me neither
I'll break your nose
I'll kill you
Excellent! Well said!
This will be our headline tomorrow
Say that again
I'll kill you
Excellent!
What?
Cut the bullshit! He Jin Yin is not suicidal
I measure up to my reputation
I'll show you in a month
What Ancient Chinese Boxing can do
The drill will start tomorrow
Let's go
Don't stand behind me, this is not Brokeback Mountain
I thought you were leaving
This way, asshole
Sorry! Step aside
You really think you can beat me?
I can give up my life for a girl
Can you?
Wait! Let's take a few more
Li, don't mind that lunatic!
He's full of shit! Put on the ring!
I can't...
Why? You don't trust me?
I do, but...
Whatever happens
Let's go to my place tonight
We need to talk, alright?
Give me some time
Vivian, let's go
Sure!
What do you think...
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a tip
The Devilish Muscle Man
has begun the grueling drill as we speak
We waste no time
in bringing you a live update
It's spooky and ghastly
Let's have a look around
The fish balls are great!
Really?
Try it!
Well?
Very chewy!
What about your training?
This is it!
Have you eaten?
- No! - Sit down!
Come on, sit down!
One more order of goose intestines
Do you like it?
Yes!
One more order!
Are you filming us? We should get paid!
Where's my pork liver?
In the bottom
No! I just put it in
Did you eat it?
No!
Don't give me that!
What's this?
Why is it in my pocket?
There's a limit to my patience
I see it...
How's the drill?
They're having hotpot
Hotpot?
Yes, they ordered goose intestines
fish balls
and hard boiled eggs
Allegedly it can reduce loss of fluid
Let's have hotpot tonight
and try the eggs...
Shut up!
What are they up to?
We have 2 more weeks to go
How is He Jin Yin
getting on with his drill?
Let's take a look
Come on baby, let's go for fun... Yeah!
Don't run...
What's this? Stop fooling around!
Either they have gone mad
or this is a conspiracy
I don't care what they're doing
I'll beat him
True love is hard to find
I'm easily hurt
Looking for love...
We're here to observe
It should be alright
Says who? I heard someone will be killed tonight
You better be prepared
No!
Why not?
When He Jin Yin goes down
and we rush him to the hospital
Make sure you get close ups of his blood
I want blood gushing out
What if he's dead?
You'll get a raise, I'll get a promotion
and we'll celebrate with champagne
In this match between David and Goliath
Will there by mercy?
We'll do our best in the ring
What about your opponent?
Will you kill him by accident?
No comment!
Rumor has it you're pushing for death
to boost the TV ratings, is that true?
That's a lie, it's impossible
You opponent seems ill prepared, is this a ploy?
Has he completed his training?
What happens if you lose?
With a body like yours
will you consider making a porno film?
Never!
I'll only make martial arts films
Sorry...
Wait!
Sorry...
The world is full of morons
asking all these dumb questions
How can I lose?
Appearance is deceiving...
What is He Jin Yin up to?
Are you alright?
Where's Li? Is she here?
Don't be afraid...
I put my money on you
No, I better bet...
Who's afraid?
Get ready, you're on in 10 minutes
Even though all of us
bet on Duan Shui Liu to win
We're actually rooting for you
We made you a robe
Took us all night
Thanks! Before I get in the ring
I'd like to see Li
I've already checked, she isn't here yet
Are you ready?
Round 1!
I'm scared, Vivian
Don't be, there's still 1 more minute
Perfect timing
I don't want them to fight
Aren't you rooting for Duan Shui Liu?
No, I must tell Yin to forfeit
What?
What's going on?
This can't be happening!
Don't do this!
Anyone out there! Help!
Open up!
"Happy Boxing Championship"
All cameras stand by
Happy Boxing Championship
will begin, yeah...
First one out
is Karate expert Duan Shui Liu
nicknamed The Killing Machine
Karate is about causing damage
all Karate experts have trained
every part of their bodies
to be destructive
breaking ice
chopping wood
splitting stones
breaking bottles
Duan Shui Liu is particularly outstanding
His punch has enough power
to smash a water melon
Talk is cheap
Bring out your cameras and see for yourself
Next up from the Ancient Chinese Boxing school
The master Devilish Muscle Man
is the arch enemy of Karate
According to our sources
Other than making a mean cup of tea
He hasn't learnt much
That's why this duel
is considered a suicidal attempt
What prompted him to do this
is still a mystery
From the murderous look on his face
He seems to have something up his sleeve
making this into a greater mystery
I'm backing you!
Thank you, Auntie
Watch it! I banked all my money on you
that you'll go down in Round 1
Please step down...
Remember to go down in Round 1
I'll do my best
Let's welcome our 2 contestants
They will carry on for 3 rounds
In case we can't take any pictures later
While they're still alive
take a good one
Say cheese!
Good...
This way
The vote from the press
is here in my hand
He Jin Yin wins the best costume award
Now...
Duan Shui Liu will
give out the award
Smile!
We want your picture
Smile!
Thanks!
The match will be gruesome
Mr. He did well with the costume
Looks like they are ready to go
Slaughter seems inevitable
The match has begun
Duan Shui Liu is like a tiger out of a cage
They're fighting ferociously
Hey...
Why did he turn his back?
Must be some trick
In terms of skill
You're no match for him
What I'm teaching you
is the highest realm of Ancient Chinese Boxing
Psychological warfare
We wined and dined ourselves for a month
He became increasingly suspicious
After a month of this
If you turn your back on him
I guarantee that for Round 1
He won't come near you
He's luring me over
I shouldn't be afraid of him
I'll tough it out
Damn! Did he see through the trick?
What are they doing?
Tell them to fight
I can't comment if they don't move!
Focus on the commentator
Make up something
If you get me fired, I'll kill you
What can I say?
Use this!
The Dragon Saber?
What's wrong with you? Keep talking!
Come on! Hurry!
I can't believe this!
Come on!
The Lion King, no...
Duan Shui Liu strikes
with Qi Shang Fist
which is deadly
This is outrageous!
I don't know what I'm saying!
Just keep up the bullshit!
Zhang Wu Ji... no... He Jin Yin
fought back with the Magic Move
and dissipated Qi Shang Fist
What? Magic Move?
He Jin Yin bellowed
and dissipated Qi Shang Fist
He Jin Yin bolted from here to there
Duan Shui Liu can't even tell
which one is the real He Jin Yin
He frowned
and made up his mind
He yelled out to his Master
summoning the dead to his assistance
Don't worry! I have another one
Duan Shui Liu fell into He Jin Yin's arms
He closed his eyes
His tender lips slightly open
breathing out... "Jin Ping Mei"?
Don't worry... keep reading
What is he talking about?
He Jin Yin is enjoying himself
Thinking the girl has fallen for him
He feels her supple skin
and her tender hands
like cotton candy
He feels that...
Shut up!
What the hell are you saying?
I'm talking to you!
You gave me no choice
You weren't fighting
How can we carry on the broadcast?
Some reporter you are! You know how to run a show?
How we run a show is none of your business
Quiet!
Do me a favor!
Did you hear him?
What's wrong with you?
Fight your match and stay out of my business
You won't move, I had to make something up!
How can you blame me?
Quiet!
End of Round 1
Yeah...
Are you alright?
I'm scared!
Don't worry!
Chief
I know
He's bluffing by turning his back
I'll hit him from behind
We'll see if he's courageous
What are you up to now?
Is it a foul?
He's tossing a hammer
and a knife
So what?
He might stab me
We'll deal with it when he does
The law will punish him
Just get on with the fight
It's so boring
If you get through Round 1
He'll get restless
In Round 2, we'll go one step further
Scare him
What's this? I'll kill you
See that! He's hit!
It can't be!
Did you see that?
Stay out of trouble, cripple!
Or I'll come down and get you
Don't blame me!
Duan Shui Liu is hit again!
Why doesn't he fight back?
He's been kicked
Anything else? Give it here!
Nothing
It seems I'm wounded
Don't worry, the durian is not poisonous
Oh!
Damn!
Commercial break!
Oh!
Yang Yin Pill, warm like the sun
Why is there no sound?
Perhaps no battery
Can't be!
Are you trapped inside?
Yes! What's wrong with you?
We've been in here for half an hour!
Fine! We'll let you wait
another half an hour
No! Please let us out!
The sun is out...
Round 3!
Kill him
That'll only take a second
Look at that garbage!
He's nothing! Everything is just an act!
Don't say that!
Every morning
He gets on a high speed truck
swinging around like a lunatic
Can that be some special skill?
Skill my ass! Get lost!
He doesn't scare me!
Is this a foul?
Of course
The pose is obscene
He Jin Yin is clamped down
You're mistaken
He Jin Yin is in control
Right!
The perfect defense
is called The Clamp
We must practice with a truck
It is most destructive
The key is to clamp down your opponent
Lock him in position...
Let go of me, garbage!
I'm not garbage!
I can't stand it
Let go!
Stop this!
You're the garbage!
Good work!
Yeah...
Be careful!
Asshole!
I'll be rid of you!
Hold on!
Don't let go!
Let go!
Please let me go!
Stop it!
I know how you feel
But I can't!
Help!
I can't stand it!
Full power lethal kick
Round 3 is up!
I'm alive!
It's a miracle! He can stand up!
He's like Rocky!
You're great!
I'm so happy!
What are you?
After 3 rounds
we have our consensus
Duan Shui Liu is the winner!
I bet with all my money
But you didn't kill him
I thought you'll kill him!
You're a coward too
I must sing a song
to thank everyone for their support
Hero...
Hurry! It's him over there!
Yin!
Please join me!
Yin!
Li!
Yin!
This time I must kiss you
I'm wounded
My teeth have been knocked out
Give me a kiss too
I'm alive!
I'm so relieved!
Actually...
What?
You garbage!
Bluffing me with tricks
Of all the fights
None of my opponents can stand up
You're no exception
I'll kill you!
Where are you going?
Why don't you congratulate me?
I told you to stay away from garbage
What?
Stop!
You already won, leave him alone!
How dare you
have no respect for me?
Come back, He Jin Yin!
Don't get carried away
There's always someone stronger
He Jin Yin has a good strategy
You should admit defeat
Going after him after you have won
That's too much!
I dare you to fight me
Members of Eagle Claw, get up!
Fine! I'll take you on!
I'll show you
Charge...
This is ridiculous!
Why?
Let's get a taxi
We won't fit
5 of us is just right
Yes...
Are you alright, Yin?
I'm fine
Now there are 6. Boss, go by yourself!
Hey...
Kid
Be forgiving...
Shut up
Do we stop filming?
Are you crazy? I've been waiting all night
for action like this
Go according to plan
Get ready for lucky draw
Don't be silly
You're no match for him
There's one last thing...
Get me a ladder
I told you
There's no such thing as Invincible Fireball
I know I'm right
Even if you are
Where can you find the ladder?
I found it
Where?
Here
Is it too long?
Ladies and gentlemen...
Last but not least... our lucky draw
Lucky Wheel lucky draw
Lucky draw?
I wish I'll win
Yes...
Lucky draw? Let's play with the lucky wheel
Yin!
Let go!
Come out, He Jin Yin!
Here I am! Come here
Let's see who's garbage now!
Come on, garbage!
I dare you to fight me
Invincible Fireball
Yin...
Don't...
Yin...
Well?
You can't beat me so easily
Karate is invincible
You'll always be garbage
You're garbage!
Save your breath! Quit the act!
You saw through me! I admit it...
I won!
Incredible!
You broke the Lucky Wheel. You must pay for it!
Incredible!
Where did you learn that?
From my Master
No! He invented it!
You're a true warrior
I was right about you. I'm so proud!
Thanks to you, Master
Don't say that!
I seek no publicity. I'm the Devilish Muscle Man
When Yin first came to me
He was a fool
If I hadn't...
Give me...
Mr. He
You did a good thing
It's my duty as a citizen
Doing charity work is my interest
I help old ladies cross the street
Really?
I do that once a week
On public holidays
I'll even do 2 or 3 times
Listen
because he ate our pineapple rice
There's real pineapples in it
Our meat ball soup has real shit
I bet you don't believe me
Get us some shit
Let me show you...
Tell us what are your plans
Me?
What I want the most
is for Li to accompany me to see
Leon Lai's concert tomorrow night
I went through great trouble for the tickets
Li? Where are you?
Li...
Li
Take a picture
Hurry...
Li, I want to...
Shut up and kiss me!
I'm used to being alone
watching the blue sky
racing the wind alone
It was fate that I met you
touching my hardened heart
No one can compare to you
I'll never forget your smile
You're the one I love
You kiss me with those tender lips
I can't help myself
I'm losing control